So what is your definition of success? I mentioned in Episode 95 one of the best definitions that I’ve ever heard. John Wooden said, “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” Because the definition is so deeply personal, I don’t want to come across as defining it for you. Rather, I want you to consider the question and define it for yourself. Don’t overlook the massive value that comes from looking in the mirror and knowing that you have done your best on any number of fronts.
The Wrong Measures
I would submit to you that is not the trappings: the size of your bank account, where you live or the elegance of your home, the car you drive, the toys you own, the vacations you take, or the myriad of other luxurious measures. These may indicate the accumulation of wealth or dollars and that is hardly a measure of success. For some, it has become an indicator or ruinous failure. For the record, this is not an argument against wealth. Instead, it’s about using a measure broader than dollars to determine the quality of the life you are living.
There’s an article that I came across in Business Insider called “How 9 Incredibly Successful People Define Success” that you should take a look at. If you are like me, then you are a bit cynical regarding the ability of these folks to connect or relate with life as you and I know it. At the same time, they have a valid perspective and experience that can shape our own thoughts on the matter.
Refuse To Settle
I’ll share with you a few of the key comments from the article starting with Ariana Huffington. The Huffington Post founder noted that money and power aren’t the only two valid metrics of success. She points out that too often we settle for a lesser life than we could have. She said that you must consider the following:
- well-being
- wisdom
- wonder
- giving
What Will They Say About You At Your Funeral
Maybe the most soul-shaking slap in the face comes from this quote in her new book:
It is very telling what we don’t hear in eulogies. We almost never hear things like: “The crowning achievement of his life was when he made
Our eulogies are always about the other stuff: what we gave, how we connected, how much we meant to our family and friends, small kindnesses, lifelong passions, and the things that made us laugh.
― Arianna Huffington, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder
― Arianna Huffington, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder
Is Behavior Aligned With Desire
To be cherished by your spouse, family, friends, and community is a great success criterion. Maybe this sounds morbid, but I think it’s pertinent: what would you like for people to say about you at your funeral? Is that the life you are now living? For example, I want people to say “That man loved and preferred his wife like no man I’ve ever known.”
How does that align with the way I speak to and behave toward Ginger every moment? Therefore, I directly control this measure of success. Stephen Covey said, “If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.”
Maya Angelou, the acclaimed author, said: “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” So, do you like yourself? Maybe you struggle with some self-contempt. It’s gone from dislike to disgust. I feel for you and there aren’t many of us who haven’t been there at some point in our lives. But the beauty is that the story is not complete. Who you were, the things you wish you could undo or unsay, the poor decisions, all of that is done. You are not the sum of your past mistakes. Today, you can choose the behaviors that you admire and act on them. Become the person you want to be.
No Room For Comparison
Also, this has nothing to do with comparing yourself to others. Others who you think did it right. Others who have what you want. They aren’t the answer, nor are they the problem. Instead of comparing, go back and listen to Episode 11 of the podcast. There are some great tips here on stopping
Then there are the periods of great wandering. Maybe you are too familiar with the feelings of isolation that come from so-called wilderness experiences. It’s frustrating when your contributions or your efforts to contribute appear continuously thwarted. Not surprisingly, you will be glad to know that Winston Churchill can relate. He said, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” He’s a reminder that the road is neither easy or friendly. So, you will have to steel yourself to persist in the face of challenge.
Also, if you haven’t seen the movie, Darkest Hour, please do yourself a favor and see it. The movie recaps Winston Churchill’s first 20 days in 1940 as Britain’s newly selected prime minister while Western Europe is crumbling under Hitler’s assault. I’m moved as I recollect in hindsight the significance of the decisions made during these incredibly intense moments and the world we live in today as a result of such principled men.
Hard Work
Thomas Edison would also relate with you. It’s commonly known that Mr. Edison had a work ethic most men cannot match. He said, “Success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.” Notice how he doesn’t say that success is related in any way to your passion. Apply yourself fully, regardless of how much you enjoy what you are doing, and success will be yours.
Don’t skip past any of this too quickly. Life is short. And life isn’t a fairy tale but there are many truths in the exchange between Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
Brian and Anthony would tell you that being intentional in designing the life you want is key to your success. So don’t waste the life you have. It’s short. It’s unpredictable. Make it count!
Great Quotes From This Episode:
“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” – John Wooden
“If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.” – Stephen Covey
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou
“Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
“Success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.” – Thomas Edison
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Leader to Leader Podcast Episode 95: Are You Measuring The Right Things
Business Insider article How 9 Incredibly Successful People Define Success
Leader to Leader Podcast Episode 11: Nothing To See Here
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