So you know you have some problems with your thought life. You can’t seem to shake those nagging sensations that you aren’t enough. Like somehow you don’t measure up physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, intellectually, relationally – you name it, you have a deficit. Well, the battle against self-limiting beliefs is not for the faint of heart. In Part Two of my interview with Val Brown, she and I talk about changing your self-limiting beliefs into self-expanding realities and how each one of us can rewrite our story!
Val is an Emmy award-winning producer who helps high performing professionals and entrepreneurs achieve business results and transformational change through the power of their story.
She combines her organization development and communication skills to help you find your story and then use it strategically to foster change and create business results.
As a powerful storyteller and visual media specialist, she will show you how to align your visuals with your story and brand, and teach you how to look, feel and sound great delivering it on camera.
If you missed Part One of the interview, listen to it here: Episode 57: The Battle Against Self-Limiting Beliefs: An Interview With Val Brown Part One
A belief is something that I accept to be true or real. It’s an assumption about me that contributes to forming my view of the world and myself. I develop this belief through real-life experiences. The best thing about beliefs? They can be changed! Once you are aware of them, then you can rewrite them.
You use a lot of energy to keep those stories going int he background. They are constantly reinforcing what you believe about yourself. To change it, you have to notice it. When you aren’t getting the results you want from the stories that you telling, you have to tell yourself different stories.
This doesn’t happen quickly because self-discovery and self-awareness is a process. A methodical trudging through years of what you have heard yourself and others say about you. Don’t expect a few hours of effort to undo a few decades of negative self-talk.
It’s Hell In The Hallway
The good news? You can immediately attack those beliefs that don’t align with the person you are becoming. Start now! When Val experienced a job loss during her career, a friend once gave her this sage advice: “Val, when one door closes, another one opens…but it’s hell in the hallway!”
Try to take another perspective. You are often your own worst critic. How would someone else (a friend, a peer, a neighbor, your boss) describe you and your circumstance? Do they see it the same way you do?
Maybe the stories you tell are completely factual. But if the story doesn’t produce the intended result, you will need to recast the story to align with the intended outcome. If you have been wronged, it might not be useful in every situation to only focus on how you were wronged. Instead, you might demonstrate how you rose above it. It’s the difference between telling the story as the victim or the victor.
Is it possible that there is another explanation for why someone responded to me the way they did? Another reason for the language or emotion they used that caused a lasting hurt or pain? We have all heard the saying “hurt people hurt people.” Is it possible that what I experienced was a result of personal hurt or tragedy that another is experiencing which I am unaware of? Empathy is a critical skill.
One thing is for certain: if you were wrong, and the outcome is a result of your behavior, own it. Don’t deny it. Simply acknowledge your mistake and move on.
There is a gap between where I see myself currently and where I want to be. An ending is required to reach a new beginning. A bridge has to span the newly created gap. That bridge is my story. And this story is a new one that I am going to write.
We don’t belive this. You don’t believe that you have the power to write your own narrative. But here is the simple truth: if you don’t write your narrative, someone else will! Own the current reality and get moving toward the dream you have for yourself.
Exiting The Pond Of Pain
Here are some great ways for you to keep from drowning in self-loathing:
- Ask yourself “How do I want to feel in the future?”
- Prioritize what is going to matter in the future you are creating
- Identify what has to change to move from where I am to where I want to be
- Make a plan and determine your next step, preferably one you can do today
- Find your “Why” – it will provide momentum and sustain you when challenged
- Identify you measure for success
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Val’s Visual Bridge Communication website
Jody Maberry’s Podcast The Jody Maberry Show
William Bridges’ Transition Model
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Now, go lead like someone you would want to follow!